Category: life struggles

Glad I don’t have too many friends

JoBarkerLeave a comment

Reason why is because ,well starting with social media ,people using 😄 laughing emoji on comments and putting nasty horrible remarks.

It’s so immature and I don’t want to be friends with people who laugh at others like that ….they are not school kids they are full grown adults yet act like 10 year olds!!

I’ve not got time for nasty immature bullies  I don’t see the point of being nasty to strangers. Why do they do it I’m glad I don’t have many friends I’m happy with the one I’ve got and I trust him 100 %  of the nicest people I know.

I think most of my friends will be dogs I love dogs loyal faithful caring and judgmental I wish I could own a cavalier  king Charles spaniel again always happy  ,lovely dogs ,my favourite breed.

I can’t understand why adults want to be like 10 year olds bullying others and being nasty …..it’s so pointless. These days you get laughed at for options that people disagree with….rather than just disagreeing with you they would rather get nasty and bully you, I also get laughed for being against illegal drugs ,cannabis ,loud music …..but they laughed because they are clearly immature and don’t know right from wrong.

Socially for all humans social life has changed ,you see people with their heads in their phones out…and not paying attention to the world around them….before tech people would chat in streets over fence …basically everything with Alot more social in the olden days.

I use my phone certain times of the day ,for games ,shopping ect,or if TV is rubbish ,the rest of time is spent with my dog ,my art ,my dumbbells and miniverse….I have Alot of hobbies to keep me busy 😄reading….photography……and on and on.

If I ever meet new people who become friends and who I eventually trust it will be a bonus…it’s very hard to make friends these days….I only give my trust to people I’ve known for a long time and I feel 100 percent that they are loyal faithful trustworthy people🕊️♥️ it’s also saver that way.

Currently ill

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I am currently ill with

vasculitis and Deviated septum ,the Deviated septum I’ve had a while just it has got worse I can hardly breath on the right side of my nose.

On the left side of my nose I have had a nose bleed since September which is part of the vasculitis.

Narrow blood vessels have been infected and caused me to have blisters which looks like from the plague ughhhh and a rash that won’t go away.

My rash has nearly disappeared 4 times each time coming back worse,the blisters are so unbearable and sensitive

I’ve sometimes been crying because it affects you mentally as well as physically because you can’t exercise or do much walking ,hot showers are off because they all set the rash off.

I can’t shave my legs because if I catch the razor on the blisters I’d be with a bacterial infection which is worse ,I feel quite down it’s all upsetting I miss my normal life I miss my weights and being able to do things.

Hope it gets better soon if anyone else has suffered from this please comment below with outcomes and happy positive ones hopefully.

Britain heading towards Hunger Games

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People think the British are Rich….I can tell you we are not rich ,the only rich people are greedy mps taking from the poor to make the rich richer …highly unfair.

Britain had been hit really badly by prices rises on everything ,people who don’t have the money are suffering some are commiting suicide that’s how bad it is.

With petrol ,food tax’s ect Britain is going back to medieval times it’s awful people are struggling …really we are a 3rd country the rich are greedy and get richer they don’t help the poor ,they should they have more money then they need!!.

If you have seen the Hunger Games movies this is what Britain is turning into ,it’s heartbreaking power and greed is evil it’s an awful thing that distroys life’s …if I had more money then I’d help someone out who really really needed it.

But I’am not I’m almost 40 (next year) living with my parents and could never afford to rent or buy a house ,if it wasn’t for my parents ,I’d most likely be homeless or really struggling to have a life ,I have Aspurgers and have disability which is 400 a month ,if I had electric gas ,tv license rent I’d have 0 ,you cannot live off that.

I don’t want to be a millionaire ,but I’d like just enough not to worry about my bank balance I’m not greedy I buy 2nd clothes .

I know that some modern women think money is everything and all they want from a man is his wallet…sad cows!! All I’ve ever want was love ,sex passion friendship ,my heart is what I follow, What we call modern Britain ….really is not corruption greedy rich mps are bringing Britain right back to the medieval times. Life is not easy if you are British and poor ….it is not the land of milk and honey ,what we need is a Robin Hood To take from the rich and give to the poor …the rich do not need any more money they’ve got enough …start helping people out.

Need Art Group back In my life 😭

JoBarkerLeave a comment

Since stupid COVID my art group closed ,and with that my social life and life as I knew it went back to how it was before art group.

At Art group every Tuesday it was the highlight of my week I got to socialize,meet people and have a laugh and banter I miss everyone so much.We had such good times ,I was so happy.

Over the COVID years to stay happy I keep my sad feelings bottled up that includes missing art group and missing my special friend who texts me alot …but we need to start meeting in person again😭💔.I try to stay positive and happy as that is how I’d rather be ad life’s too short.

But every now and again I need to cry and think about these things and last night I did that,I have always found making friends hard and also my love life has always been at 0 ,Nearing 40 it gets to me worse than ever I’ve missed out on so.

In this modern era with WOKE people it’s so much harder to make friends as people get offended by everything ,you’re constantly walking on egg shells because you can’t say anything.

I’m from old school as you have seen in my blogs , I believe freedom of speech , expressing and discussing options in an adult mature way Woke people don’t do this if they don’t like your opinion they call you names get nasty and mean…very childish.

I’m on the search for a new social group in case my much loved art group does not start up again, it’s a hard search ….but important as I need a decent social life and to enjoy life and have good times because we only get one chance at life.

much

Being Single forever effects you in older life

JoBarkerLeave a comment

I’am turning 39 this September then after that it’s the big four O , and alot of sadness that I’ve had all my life has got worse.

It Effects badly ,I have been single all my life Not by choice, I have not experienced a relationship love or romance or sex ,It effects me really badly… especially now as I see my 30s and 20s disappear into a historic fog.

I try not to think about it but it’s there and fills my eyes with tears, my whole life I’ve always wanted a relationship with Mr right and a good sex life .not experienceing it really depresses me , people don’t no how lucky they are to have had that , but people like me who haven’t just want to be a loyal faithful loving partner to love and enjoy life with.

There is someone who has feelings for me and had done for 6 years , but he won’t admit it ,this makes me feel worse …I mean why won’t he just say ,it’s so obvious, he gets nervous around me and shows all the signs ,yet he won’t admit he loves me.

It’s driving me crazy coz we could of spent our 30s together happy and now we can’t coz our 30s are going….I wish more then anything he would say it he would feel better and at ease for it and I will feel better to.

I wish I could have my late teens 30s and 30s with him , and not miss out on love romance sex and lust , I’am not looking forward to being a 40 year old virgin ,it’s so depressing,sad thing is I can’t get the years back ,no one has ever given me a chance ,I’ve been rejected throughout the years.

My sex drive is still high but there is sod all I can do about it ,my body wants a real man not some toy . Being single forever and reaching your later years is so awful and it effects you emotionally. It effects your life and thinking what you wanted but could never have no matter how hard you tried.Its very sad and awful …I often wonder if my lack of love life was cursed ,being single forever is awful and there’s nothing I can do because I’ve tried it’s sad when your unwanted and have no partner to share your life with it’s also very scary …I never wanted this .

Options matter

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Apparently according to “Women” on Facebook I’m not aloud a option on not liking Botox.

I’ve been against Botox since a teenager, I think it does not look nice and makes people look worse not better.

I believe in being natural and being happy with who you are as your born…that my opinion. We All have different opinions on things that’s how life is, if we all had the same option life would be pretty boring.

These days thought if people don’t like your opinion or views they decide to be nasty and troll and bully you,then say your nasty for having the option it’s self…..how does that even make sense.

Anyhow I blocked all the comments and did not reply as these people are not worth it.sadly in modern UK you are not allowed a option coz if people don’t agree with you or even disagree with you, they get nasty and troll and bully coz you don’t have the same option as them. Im not changing how I think and feel for a butch of

bully’s I’m sticking to what I believe in . If we all have the same option and agree on everything the world would be a very boring place….think about it

Lost Soul wondering aimlessly

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I was told by the spirits he was the one , in 2016 they kept telling me he is your soulmate.

I tried to ignore them because I didn’t want to get hurt or rejected.But I felt A special chemistry bound with him , he the only who has ever looked at me in a special way and shown interest.

Yet he rejects me 💔💔 I’m so confused ,I remember all the little things the signs, the time he saw me with a new hair cut his jaw dropped and he stuttered , Flower emojis he sent …he even sent flirty texts.

He held my hand in a special way when we had a deep talk together ,he removed my bag strap when it got stuck on a chair. He kept the paintings I made him ,he checked out my bum at the pub 😄.

But yet with out chemistry and me finding myself when I found him , my empty soul feeling warm and complete….he rejects me???

In 2016 I did my very very best to ignore the spirits as I didn’t want rejection and heart brake but they just wouldn’t have it….think one is my grandad and the other Rick Parfitt (spirit bit later not 2016 .2019 -now…..repenting I think ?

I have so much special little memory’s of him that matter so much he is the love of my life ,I try looking at other men but they are not him…he is so important I’ll never meet another perfect guy like him he is my soulmate ,If I can’t be with him I will love him still but I will die a virgin lonely with a dog coz he is the one.

I love our banter ,I miss our banter ,I love him calling me nicknames like misses and joking and flirting with me ,I love his hugs his personality his charm good looks ….love hurts ..

Iam now a soul wondering aimlessly confused and lost ,I will never love again no one can be him…from now on only lust and pureity….with me most likely pureity no one wants me 📿🙏 I will never get over him just always love him even when iam a old lonely lady with my faithful dog…that’s how I see my future …when my parents sadly pass in years ….I will have just me and a dog …..😭😭💔 .

You wonder about rejection , My life has been rejection it effects you emotionally , rejection is what I’ve had my whole life asking people out trying to make friends ect.All the time I end up lonely and feel scared of groups incase I’m judged…it’s not easy you also have no support just family support…..but when your family goes…. there is just you……this is one reason I wanted me right out of many….now what???2😭💔

I’m a lonely soul wondering aimlessly confused ……….

Why social distence can’t last forever.

JoBarkerLeave a comment

Put it this way , if social distence goes on any more years we will all go insane and be sex starved Hungary horny mad people.

We are only humans we need to hold hands , hug friends and family comfort the people we love.

We need sex and foreplay ,social distence can go on for years and years it will drive us mad.

Not being physical or being able to playfully flirt with the person your in love with is like being put in a cage.

Things we need back:

Holding hands

Hugs and kisses

Cuddles

Sex

Oral sex

Snogging

that’s why social distenceing can’t last forever , I need all of that ,you need all of that We need all of that , hopefully face masks will go and distenceing will go and life will return to normal.

Richie Sambora Saved my life

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During College in the 00s when I was aged 16-23 ( through college years , I had trouble fitting in .
But my happyness was 80s classic Rock .
I was a total Rock chick back then I loved Richie Sambora and on Jovi and Alice Cooper.
Last Night I was watching NOW 80S they were having a rock night .
I felt nostalgic as they showed the band’s I liked , it brought back the happyness I felt when listing to these bands in my younger years .
I’am now 37 back then I was a huge fan of Richie Sambora .
I think even had him on my msn messager ( I hope it was him) I think it was as when he spoke about music he was very passionate about it. Richie is that .
I think it helped having my favourite guitarist musician wanting to talk to me , also mad me happy.
Never Underestimate Richie Sambora he is a very talented musician .
Stranger in This Town is one of my most favourite albums , It is  so blues and rock and dark to , brilliant amazing album and great lyrics.
I often fantasied about being a groupie around these handsome long haired talented rockers during the 80s .That would of been cool …but I was born in 1983.
Through the sadness of finding it hard to make friends during college .
This light of happyness that is classic rock helped me.
Thank you Richie Sambora you saved me ♥️♥️♥️♥️
Thank you Bon Jovi you helped me ♥️♥️

Don’t judge ALL MEN , Women are evil to.

JoBarkerLeave a comment

YES I’am a woman writing this ,and before you pounce on me for standing up for men , let me tell you my stories.
College in my 20s on period man dragged me to park to try have sex with me , when I did not want to.
Mid 20s African girl and her group of friends threaten to kill me just coz they didn’t like me.
30s bus stopped at wrong stop Asian men in groups hooted at me like sum sex object.

Ok with that out the way,Not all men are bad yes you get bad ones but that is life , you get bad women to , in that we are equal.
The woman in the photo she is Joanna Christine Dennehy a woman serial killer from The UK , she killed men for makeing sexural advances towards her . She is cold she is evil she is not safe to go near. She luckily is in jail for life.
My point is please don’t judge all men the same, women to can be just as bad.
Good and evil of both sexes are on earth not just one sex.
Women to have been sexural predictors some teachers , some like Mira Hindly .
I think heterosexual men get to much stick these days they are treated wrong .They haven’t even got proper men’s sports now  without some female commintator sticking her ore in .
I’am and always will stand up for the good men of this world and there rights. It’s awful the way they are treated , men need something of there own to feel masculine , sports club smoking whisky room , something , they should not have to share it with women. We have are own private women things so like men have there’s.
Just think before you judge not all men are bad , there are some really nice guys out there.