Category: rejection

Glad I don’t have too many friends

JoBarkerLeave a comment

Reason why is because ,well starting with social media ,people using 😄 laughing emoji on comments and putting nasty horrible remarks.

It’s so immature and I don’t want to be friends with people who laugh at others like that ….they are not school kids they are full grown adults yet act like 10 year olds!!

I’ve not got time for nasty immature bullies  I don’t see the point of being nasty to strangers. Why do they do it I’m glad I don’t have many friends I’m happy with the one I’ve got and I trust him 100 %  of the nicest people I know.

I think most of my friends will be dogs I love dogs loyal faithful caring and judgmental I wish I could own a cavalier  king Charles spaniel again always happy  ,lovely dogs ,my favourite breed.

I can’t understand why adults want to be like 10 year olds bullying others and being nasty …..it’s so pointless. These days you get laughed at for options that people disagree with….rather than just disagreeing with you they would rather get nasty and bully you, I also get laughed for being against illegal drugs ,cannabis ,loud music …..but they laughed because they are clearly immature and don’t know right from wrong.

Socially for all humans social life has changed ,you see people with their heads in their phones out…and not paying attention to the world around them….before tech people would chat in streets over fence …basically everything with Alot more social in the olden days.

I use my phone certain times of the day ,for games ,shopping ect,or if TV is rubbish ,the rest of time is spent with my dog ,my art ,my dumbbells and miniverse….I have Alot of hobbies to keep me busy 😄reading….photography……and on and on.

If I ever meet new people who become friends and who I eventually trust it will be a bonus…it’s very hard to make friends these days….I only give my trust to people I’ve known for a long time and I feel 100 percent that they are loyal faithful trustworthy people🕊️♥️ it’s also saver that way.

Some men still treat women badly.

JoBarkerLeave a comment

I don’t usually write blogs like this because I’m not a feminist.

But on joining a Facebook group where women ask advice from men ,about relationships I noticed something.

I was asking advice on a matter ,and some of the comments were very immature and judgemental and disrespectful towards women.

Men in the group claim some of the women are bitter due to past experiences but it seems some of the men are bitter to judging by their comments.

Some treating women as if they should be submissive and do as they are told,which is one thing you do not do to me 😆,I was bullied over the years and had control freak teachers .

So it tuffened me up I’m a strong woman ,stronger than I realise and stand up for myself and speak my mind ….I’m like a mini Xena 🤣

I know at times our past heartaches rejections can make us bitter or angry ,but don’t go down that road it is negative and no good. The best thing to do is to clear your head and soul of negative emotions and carry on as best you can.

And if you want respect ,respect the other person and it swings both ways ,you cannot expect to be respected yourself if you do not show respect to others.

I think when these people make nasty , disrespectful comments it comes from their own insecurities and bad experiences so they protect it on others ,which in return causes more negativity….this does not help….over come the negative feelings and emotions clear your mind ,seek help seek help for god if your led that way ….it helps.

Nothing good comes from negative emotions and feelings ,as a catholic I have learnt that positive good feelings and emotions are better for you and people around you.

Loners who did not choose it

JoBarkerLeave a comment

Last night I had one of my deep thinking moments ,as sometimes happens before I go to sleep.I was thinking about loners .

There are two types I know of Negative and positive , negative ones usually  become worse than the ones who bullied them and sometimes become murders.

Positive ones don’t take it out on people ,they stay on the side of love no matter what,but none of us chose this path.I find myself thinking at night WHY??

I have tried socialising always ok as a child and early teens I was shy and it was more difficult,but as I got older I got more confidence ,spoke out more and braved it all,I even stood up to be bullies.

A couple of bullies I asked why don’t you like me.?

They answered. “because you’re a loser” “Because you don’t go on a break “( because they never say with me!!)

Some side” just because?”

It’s hard finding a social group at the moment but there seems to be lots of them in Thornton cleveleys If summers are noisy this year my parents and I may retire there.

I also know I’m not the only one I know there are others like me with the same issues ,thinking at night why?we try to be nice friendly and good manners so it’s not us it’s them.

I’m 41 now and still no solid group of friends I have one friend who texts I’ve known him for almost 10 years now.

I’m not shy anymore I’m confident and speak my mind but also look out for people and stay caring and thoughts.

Despite all the nasty bad people I will always follow my heart and be carrying and loving and always be me.

I will not let it turn me into a nasty evil bully that’s the weak way of dealing with it.

As for the WHy? I cannot answer that one yet still figuring it out ,maybe god’s saving us for something , honestly I don’t know. But if you’re a loner who has not chosen to be don’t turn to the dark side stay strong loving and caring ,love is stronger than hate.

Rejection affects you all your life

JoBarker3 Comments

I have been rejected and judged by people since I was a kid.

I remember sitting on a cold step in playing ground crying and alone ,not noticing the bell to come in and still sitting there in silence…..this is rejection.

I’ve been single forever ,I have never had a relationship never had sex never had companionship ….sadly missed out on these wonderful things ….not by choice,by other people’s choices

I’m now 40 and the rejection is not just of men but lack of friends to and social life is still with my hurting It affects you your whole life .Emotionally it does not completely go as it is still happening.

I noticed since my late to mid 20s I lost all hope ,I don’t get hopeful because I just expect the worst ,Because sadly that is what happens ,I have no hope left in me ,sadly because I know I’ll be rejected and worst is always going to happen to me.

Then I ask myself ,am I ugly? What is wrong with me? Why does a man not want me? Why do people not want to be friends?

I try to be a good person I treat people as I’d like to be be treated my self ,I have good manners ,show people I care ….yet here I am 40 years old unmarried no social life apart from at church and in text messages???

Why ? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t people love me like I love them? I feel cursed like I’ve done something really really evil to suffer this the whole of my life .

At age 28 I said to myself I condemn myself to my fate I will most likely die old and alone and have a poorpas grave …if I’m really lucky I’ll have a faithful dog by my side.

But that is where I see my future ,this is also why dogs are important to my life they love you they are there they bring you happiness when no one else will.

Things I’ve lost: HOPE ,LUCK ,HAPPYNESS

Things I have to give : Love , Loyalty,faith,compaction,friendship

I have a lot of love in my heart I try to tell family and anyone I care about I love them because I will regret it if I don’t and if something bad happens it’s important to tell people you love them as it brings happiness.

Not being told your loved or cared for you get tears rejection pain and cry on your pillow endless nights ….I’m 40 and still do that I’ve been doing that since I can remember.

I can only dream of what it’s like to be loved by a man and that is most likely all it ever will be …just a dream that will never happen….it’s painful knowing this future and not experiencing having love from someone ….it would probably make me the happiest woman on earth if it did happen..

But until then sadness will always dwell with me.

What it feels like to still be single near 40

JoBarkerLeave a comment

I am edging closer to 40 ,will be 40 in September ,I have official been single forever ,and not had sex ever!!

I have been rejected by all men ,even one who fell for me then rejected I have been rejected by my soulmate .

Inside it feels horrible ,leaves you thinking what’s wrong with you,? Why so much bad luck? What evil have I done to deserve so much rejection and pain? Am I ugly ?

I have done nothing wrong but be an honest caring loving person always been nice to people and given them love and made them feel good…in return they brake my heart leave me crying in bed this I’ve been doing now all my life…for once in my life I’d like happiness and love ,loyalty and friendship and passion ,never had that ever…why don’t you like me??

Need Art Group back In my life 😭

JoBarkerLeave a comment

Since stupid COVID my art group closed ,and with that my social life and life as I knew it went back to how it was before art group.

At Art group every Tuesday it was the highlight of my week I got to socialize,meet people and have a laugh and banter I miss everyone so much.We had such good times ,I was so happy.

Over the COVID years to stay happy I keep my sad feelings bottled up that includes missing art group and missing my special friend who texts me alot …but we need to start meeting in person again😭💔.I try to stay positive and happy as that is how I’d rather be ad life’s too short.

But every now and again I need to cry and think about these things and last night I did that,I have always found making friends hard and also my love life has always been at 0 ,Nearing 40 it gets to me worse than ever I’ve missed out on so.

In this modern era with WOKE people it’s so much harder to make friends as people get offended by everything ,you’re constantly walking on egg shells because you can’t say anything.

I’m from old school as you have seen in my blogs , I believe freedom of speech , expressing and discussing options in an adult mature way Woke people don’t do this if they don’t like your opinion they call you names get nasty and mean…very childish.

I’m on the search for a new social group in case my much loved art group does not start up again, it’s a hard search ….but important as I need a decent social life and to enjoy life and have good times because we only get one chance at life.

much

Being Single forever effects you in older life

JoBarkerLeave a comment

I’am turning 39 this September then after that it’s the big four O , and alot of sadness that I’ve had all my life has got worse.

It Effects badly ,I have been single all my life Not by choice, I have not experienced a relationship love or romance or sex ,It effects me really badly… especially now as I see my 30s and 20s disappear into a historic fog.

I try not to think about it but it’s there and fills my eyes with tears, my whole life I’ve always wanted a relationship with Mr right and a good sex life .not experienceing it really depresses me , people don’t no how lucky they are to have had that , but people like me who haven’t just want to be a loyal faithful loving partner to love and enjoy life with.

There is someone who has feelings for me and had done for 6 years , but he won’t admit it ,this makes me feel worse …I mean why won’t he just say ,it’s so obvious, he gets nervous around me and shows all the signs ,yet he won’t admit he loves me.

It’s driving me crazy coz we could of spent our 30s together happy and now we can’t coz our 30s are going….I wish more then anything he would say it he would feel better and at ease for it and I will feel better to.

I wish I could have my late teens 30s and 30s with him , and not miss out on love romance sex and lust , I’am not looking forward to being a 40 year old virgin ,it’s so depressing,sad thing is I can’t get the years back ,no one has ever given me a chance ,I’ve been rejected throughout the years.

My sex drive is still high but there is sod all I can do about it ,my body wants a real man not some toy . Being single forever and reaching your later years is so awful and it effects you emotionally. It effects your life and thinking what you wanted but could never have no matter how hard you tried.Its very sad and awful …I often wonder if my lack of love life was cursed ,being single forever is awful and there’s nothing I can do because I’ve tried it’s sad when your unwanted and have no partner to share your life with it’s also very scary …I never wanted this .

I’am not mentally Ill

JoBarkerLeave a comment

I think some people still have yet to understand what having ADHD, Asburgers ,and Autism is.

A woman in a discussion I was having claimed it was a mental illness ….now I’m not easly offended, but this really shook me up.

I’am not I’ll with my Asburgers it does not make me sick ,I’am not metal I do not need a straight jacket or to be locked away. Some people still in this day and age do not understand that having “Special Needs ” is not a Illness it is part of who we are as a person

I’am deeply offended to be labeled as mentally ill because I was born unique ,my mum and dad are happy that I was born this way .

I have never broken the law , I’ve never taken drugs and never slept around or got in with the wrong people , I’ve always been good …..ok maybe not a little kid was still learning ….but I’ve not done anything that would class me “mentally Ill”.

Its not just me this would upset but hundreds of others like me , we are each unique with different capabilities as normal as any other human on earth ….but we are not I’ll and we are not suffering !!!!

I’m artistic I spend my time creating art , doing exercises , I’am religious and spiritual and have a caring heart and alot of compassion and emotions,my parents are proud of me and are happy with me just as I’am.

Please If someone says they have any of the above ,do not judge them do not talk down to them , do not treat them as if they are slow and do not say they are mentally Ill, as it is offensive and upsetting.

Lost Soul wondering aimlessly

JoBarkerLeave a comment

I was told by the spirits he was the one , in 2016 they kept telling me he is your soulmate.

I tried to ignore them because I didn’t want to get hurt or rejected.But I felt A special chemistry bound with him , he the only who has ever looked at me in a special way and shown interest.

Yet he rejects me 💔💔 I’m so confused ,I remember all the little things the signs, the time he saw me with a new hair cut his jaw dropped and he stuttered , Flower emojis he sent …he even sent flirty texts.

He held my hand in a special way when we had a deep talk together ,he removed my bag strap when it got stuck on a chair. He kept the paintings I made him ,he checked out my bum at the pub 😄.

But yet with out chemistry and me finding myself when I found him , my empty soul feeling warm and complete….he rejects me???

In 2016 I did my very very best to ignore the spirits as I didn’t want rejection and heart brake but they just wouldn’t have it….think one is my grandad and the other Rick Parfitt (spirit bit later not 2016 .2019 -now…..repenting I think ?

I have so much special little memory’s of him that matter so much he is the love of my life ,I try looking at other men but they are not him…he is so important I’ll never meet another perfect guy like him he is my soulmate ,If I can’t be with him I will love him still but I will die a virgin lonely with a dog coz he is the one.

I love our banter ,I miss our banter ,I love him calling me nicknames like misses and joking and flirting with me ,I love his hugs his personality his charm good looks ….love hurts ..

Iam now a soul wondering aimlessly confused and lost ,I will never love again no one can be him…from now on only lust and pureity….with me most likely pureity no one wants me 📿🙏 I will never get over him just always love him even when iam a old lonely lady with my faithful dog…that’s how I see my future …when my parents sadly pass in years ….I will have just me and a dog …..😭😭💔 .

You wonder about rejection , My life has been rejection it effects you emotionally , rejection is what I’ve had my whole life asking people out trying to make friends ect.All the time I end up lonely and feel scared of groups incase I’m judged…it’s not easy you also have no support just family support…..but when your family goes…. there is just you……this is one reason I wanted me right out of many….now what???2😭💔

I’m a lonely soul wondering aimlessly confused ……….