Category: mental health

As a teen in late 90s

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Due to my autism and the fact I got bullied no matter what school I was put in

I went to Ewing School Didsbury Manchester I was there 1996 -1999 I think.

The whole time I was at this school I saw a psychiatrist and felt upset.

1st story I’m telling you was one I recently told my friend ,School trip to Brittany France when I was age 13 or 14.It was more like a nightmare I shared a cabin in the ferry ⛴️ with two female teachers .

Before going to sleep I remember seeing the teachers ice cold eyes staring at me so I closed my eyes .

When we reached where we were staying it was an old rundown farmhouse in the middle of the countryside, with no street lights.

There were no carpets in one game room which teachers said only boys could use ….I think there was a living room but teachers said that was just for them…so we only had a garden and a table by a window.we also was not allowed in the kitchen.

We were not fed much . sandwich on french baguette and not much drink ..I ended up buying a large bag of crossettes and four large bottles of water to keep me going.

I remember the beach they took us to was a nudest beach ….think we were the only ones with clothes on ..

At my age it was shocking!!

At the end of the trip we were stuck at the ferry port due to French farmers protesting,so we had to sleep in a cold school gym on gym Matt’s and then catch the ferry the next day.

Later in my years at the school the headmistress Mrs Darbyshire really had it in for me ..

She had a go at me for small normal teenage things …and eventually she made sure the other teachers treated me badly too .

I was extremely depressed due to all of this ,my teens were destroyed by that school and it was that bad .

By the 1st year of college year 2000 still recovering from the school I ended up having anorexia for around a year.

And a further two break downs most recent was at age 23-24.

I feel I can write this blog about it now as I’am now 42 and it’s so far in the past that it cannot hurt me anymore ….I’m finally free of it…

Bible words help me to because I know I’ve suffered Alot but in a way it’s a post that if you suffer in your life you’re welcome to heaven because it’s almost like the suffering Jesus went through.

Some men still treat women badly.

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I don’t usually write blogs like this because I’m not a feminist.

But on joining a Facebook group where women ask advice from men ,about relationships I noticed something.

I was asking advice on a matter ,and some of the comments were very immature and judgemental and disrespectful towards women.

Men in the group claim some of the women are bitter due to past experiences but it seems some of the men are bitter to judging by their comments.

Some treating women as if they should be submissive and do as they are told,which is one thing you do not do to me 😆,I was bullied over the years and had control freak teachers .

So it tuffened me up I’m a strong woman ,stronger than I realise and stand up for myself and speak my mind ….I’m like a mini Xena 🤣

I know at times our past heartaches rejections can make us bitter or angry ,but don’t go down that road it is negative and no good. The best thing to do is to clear your head and soul of negative emotions and carry on as best you can.

And if you want respect ,respect the other person and it swings both ways ,you cannot expect to be respected yourself if you do not show respect to others.

I think when these people make nasty , disrespectful comments it comes from their own insecurities and bad experiences so they protect it on others ,which in return causes more negativity….this does not help….over come the negative feelings and emotions clear your mind ,seek help seek help for god if your led that way ….it helps.

Nothing good comes from negative emotions and feelings ,as a catholic I have learnt that positive good feelings and emotions are better for you and people around you.

Loners who did not choose it

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Last night I had one of my deep thinking moments ,as sometimes happens before I go to sleep.I was thinking about loners .

There are two types I know of Negative and positive , negative ones usually  become worse than the ones who bullied them and sometimes become murders.

Positive ones don’t take it out on people ,they stay on the side of love no matter what,but none of us chose this path.I find myself thinking at night WHY??

I have tried socialising always ok as a child and early teens I was shy and it was more difficult,but as I got older I got more confidence ,spoke out more and braved it all,I even stood up to be bullies.

A couple of bullies I asked why don’t you like me.?

They answered. “because you’re a loser” “Because you don’t go on a break “( because they never say with me!!)

Some side” just because?”

It’s hard finding a social group at the moment but there seems to be lots of them in Thornton cleveleys If summers are noisy this year my parents and I may retire there.

I also know I’m not the only one I know there are others like me with the same issues ,thinking at night why?we try to be nice friendly and good manners so it’s not us it’s them.

I’m 41 now and still no solid group of friends I have one friend who texts I’ve known him for almost 10 years now.

I’m not shy anymore I’m confident and speak my mind but also look out for people and stay caring and thoughts.

Despite all the nasty bad people I will always follow my heart and be carrying and loving and always be me.

I will not let it turn me into a nasty evil bully that’s the weak way of dealing with it.

As for the WHy? I cannot answer that one yet still figuring it out ,maybe god’s saving us for something , honestly I don’t know. But if you’re a loner who has not chosen to be don’t turn to the dark side stay strong loving and caring ,love is stronger than hate.

Currently ill

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I am currently ill with

vasculitis and Deviated septum ,the Deviated septum I’ve had a while just it has got worse I can hardly breath on the right side of my nose.

On the left side of my nose I have had a nose bleed since September which is part of the vasculitis.

Narrow blood vessels have been infected and caused me to have blisters which looks like from the plague ughhhh and a rash that won’t go away.

My rash has nearly disappeared 4 times each time coming back worse,the blisters are so unbearable and sensitive

I’ve sometimes been crying because it affects you mentally as well as physically because you can’t exercise or do much walking ,hot showers are off because they all set the rash off.

I can’t shave my legs because if I catch the razor on the blisters I’d be with a bacterial infection which is worse ,I feel quite down it’s all upsetting I miss my normal life I miss my weights and being able to do things.

Hope it gets better soon if anyone else has suffered from this please comment below with outcomes and happy positive ones hopefully.

Single Women Don’t have to Have Kids!

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Recently on Twitter there has been some uproar about people saying “Single Women HAVE to have kids”.It’s rubbish no one has to do anything they don’t want to do.

As a single woman who does not want kids Id like to explain my reasons for not having or wanting kids…then we will get on to the nasty people on Twitter!

I’m 39 I have Asburgers ,I have a history of depression ,stress and anxiety.y9u cannot have kids with these I know for a fact I’d brake down in to a huge depression and probably end up I’ll in hospital.Also I have been single since I was born in 1983 .I don’t have much money to my name ,I can’t afford a house or anything expensive so I won’t be able to afford kids.Also If I did end up with a man he would have to be single with no kids from past relationships…..I really do not want any of that at all,I’d rather have a partner who has no kids no baggage no physco exs.just a nice clean slate.These reasons should make perfect sense to anyone with a brain!!

Now to the trolls and bullies ,I noticed some nasty people put comments that are totally sexist and so old fashioned cob webs were floating on them.There is no need for nasty comments you cannot bully women or force them into being with child …that would be classed as rape you stupied idiots!

Some men were saying women were put on earth to give birth….well not all of us you historically old old people from 1800s ,we have personal choice and reasons for not wanting kids ,plus no money and illness that make us unable to be good mum’s,and there are some bad parents out there …..DO NOT TELL ME there isn’t becous6 there is ….you seem to forget about that when making your sexist old comments!!

No human is perfect and some people who have kids who are on drugs ,have metal health and other issues not all but some have no idea how to treat there kids ,also there are abusive parents….so don’t make out having kids is happy ever after for everyone ….becouse it’s not …..some people really cannot cope with the stress.

It’s your choice ladies if you don’t want kids don’t have them don’t let these losers force you into things you don’t want to do!

Stop cannabis now I’m fed up of it 😭😭😭

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Dear Sir

I’am a 38 year old who has Asburgers and allgy issues which cause breathing difficulty at times.
I’m asking begging please stop people smoking cannabis and selling in Manchester I live in the northern moor with my mum and dad and it’s driving us insane and effecting us.
Tonight I have had no sleep because a selfish neighbour is smoking cannabis the smell its awful . I’d like to breathe fresh air…not drugs through my window.please get police on Northern moor stopping the drug deals ,they are happing on motorcycle and in vans all the time ,stop people smoking this drug it effects my health and my parents ,we hate the smell and effect it has ,all we want is fresh air and sleep.
I feel it’s bad in Northern Moor most people in this area smoke it and deal it ,it’s so awful please please help get rid of it and it’s awful smell put a stop to this evil drug please,for us people who just want fresh air and peace please I’m asking you .
I don’t know what else to say other then help.

Britain heading towards Hunger Games

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People think the British are Rich….I can tell you we are not rich ,the only rich people are greedy mps taking from the poor to make the rich richer …highly unfair.

Britain had been hit really badly by prices rises on everything ,people who don’t have the money are suffering some are commiting suicide that’s how bad it is.

With petrol ,food tax’s ect Britain is going back to medieval times it’s awful people are struggling …really we are a 3rd country the rich are greedy and get richer they don’t help the poor ,they should they have more money then they need!!.

If you have seen the Hunger Games movies this is what Britain is turning into ,it’s heartbreaking power and greed is evil it’s an awful thing that distroys life’s …if I had more money then I’d help someone out who really really needed it.

But I’am not I’m almost 40 (next year) living with my parents and could never afford to rent or buy a house ,if it wasn’t for my parents ,I’d most likely be homeless or really struggling to have a life ,I have Aspurgers and have disability which is 400 a month ,if I had electric gas ,tv license rent I’d have 0 ,you cannot live off that.

I don’t want to be a millionaire ,but I’d like just enough not to worry about my bank balance I’m not greedy I buy 2nd clothes .

I know that some modern women think money is everything and all they want from a man is his wallet…sad cows!! All I’ve ever want was love ,sex passion friendship ,my heart is what I follow, What we call modern Britain ….really is not corruption greedy rich mps are bringing Britain right back to the medieval times. Life is not easy if you are British and poor ….it is not the land of milk and honey ,what we need is a Robin Hood To take from the rich and give to the poor …the rich do not need any more money they’ve got enough …start helping people out.

I’am not mentally Ill

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I think some people still have yet to understand what having ADHD, Asburgers ,and Autism is.

A woman in a discussion I was having claimed it was a mental illness ….now I’m not easly offended, but this really shook me up.

I’am not I’ll with my Asburgers it does not make me sick ,I’am not metal I do not need a straight jacket or to be locked away. Some people still in this day and age do not understand that having “Special Needs ” is not a Illness it is part of who we are as a person

I’am deeply offended to be labeled as mentally ill because I was born unique ,my mum and dad are happy that I was born this way .

I have never broken the law , I’ve never taken drugs and never slept around or got in with the wrong people , I’ve always been good …..ok maybe not a little kid was still learning ….but I’ve not done anything that would class me “mentally Ill”.

Its not just me this would upset but hundreds of others like me , we are each unique with different capabilities as normal as any other human on earth ….but we are not I’ll and we are not suffering !!!!

I’m artistic I spend my time creating art , doing exercises , I’am religious and spiritual and have a caring heart and alot of compassion and emotions,my parents are proud of me and are happy with me just as I’am.

Please If someone says they have any of the above ,do not judge them do not talk down to them , do not treat them as if they are slow and do not say they are mentally Ill, as it is offensive and upsetting.