Catholic life helps me as a person

Featured JoBarkerLeave a comment

Since baptism and going to mass every Sunday I feel a better person for it.

I switch my mind off in mass don’t think at all ,I do mass and listen and pray, after mass I feel warm ,calm and at peace,I feel mass helps heal and guide you through difficulties in life.

After baptism we were physically visited by the holy Spirit which is a white Dove.

I feel Jesus and Mary are guided me and giving me self control ,I always had spending difficulty because of issues in life ,when you lack social life and boyfriend ,you need something to fill that space shopping did that for me.

Slowly I’m getting better with money ,I’m targeting to get my account over a thousand by June ,there’s no need to shop all the time ,odd occasion I like to treat myself ,but these days most my shopping is stuff I need so it’s really maturing. Jesus is giving me self control.

Life in the modern world can be difficult ,it’s hard not to get angry or annoyed especially in the UK with all our issues.

Religion helps if I can switch my mind of focus on the Lord ect I am then calm and at peace ,try not to let things get to me ,because anger leads to hate ,hate leads to suffering and the negatives of anger make you as a person feel worse and people around you feel worse.

Positives are always good it gives you motivation,but if someone says “no you can’t do that” or “you haven’t got a clue what you’re doing” it affects you and you feel like you don’t want to because of criticism . Positives motivate you .

In work if you have a very critical boss you work less ,but if you have a positive boss you work over 100%

Artist Struggle: Hard year for an Artist

Featured JoBarkerLeave a comment

This year I have really struggled with my work ,in past 5 months I have thrown away unfinished artworks because I get that gut feeling , that’s it’s not looking right.

I really hate chucking my work , last year was a good year I did not throw any works away.

There are things that make us artist insecure , for starters the media always post artist who do realistic photographic type art that they’ve done with pencils paint ect …we can’t all get that effect…and not everyone likes that sort of art.

Each artist has there own styles and technic unique .I admit I have felt insecure this year why do people have high expectations of us ,we cannot all do realistic art that looks like photographs,I only do what I can do.What Iam capable of.

It’s been such a struggle I want my art works to turn out well and sell well one ,I tried selling them on eBay but people these days want something for nothing , they expect to pay 1 pound 2 pound for art that take hours and expensive supplies ….I can’t live off that !!!

If any Artist have simpler artist block and struggles that are in my blog , feel free to comment it will help so much .

Apparently you’re weird of your waiting outside the loo .

JoBarkerLeave a comment

Have to get this off my chest as it’s bothering me.

Today after my dentist appointment I felt I needed the loo,so went downstairs and saw it was engaged,so I waited outside for use.

Which I’ve thought since I was little was the normal polite thing to do and what people have been doing for years.

Anyway I sat down next to Dad in waiting after the loo ,and heard the secretary whispering to the other secretary that “the girl was waiting outside the loo …I don’t know if it is an autism thing”.

This made me feel like a right weirdo ,I also felt judged and offended and upset by it….something that people do every day…yet when I do it it’s weird?!!

Sadly this is why I guard myself …from people because I get judged so much ..I only let in my most trusted close people which is very few …count on one hand my most trusted people.

So in a way I’m avoidant with certain people who I don’t know too well ,because I don’t trust them …it takes Alot to earn my trust …being avoidant  with strangers and people I don’t know I protect myself from being hurt….sadly this is with most I just seem to get judged and bullied Alot in myself ….ask why??

I’m not mean not nasty not perfect ….why be mean to me what have I done???

Worrying adverts make you assume differently

JoBarkerLeave a comment

Worried about how ads on TV with this woke junk are making us all automatically think….and it’s wrong and scary.

I was just thinking to myself that due to ads I can’t see men together as just being a bunch of hetrosexural manly men just being good mates…

This thought then scared me and I knew it was due to woke propaganda and ads where you constantly  see gays couples men and women…

I’m not against gays my brother and aunt are gay….but I don’t like it shoved in my face with pride crap I’m totally against woke rubbish it’s just to two tire and one sided .

I’d like to be able to mentally think “that’s just a bunch of guys who are mates or there just girls who are with mates” rather than thinking are they a couple??

It just shows how two tire everything has gotten ,us hetrosexurals as god made us men liking women ,women liking men ….are invisible we are the unheard …according to the woke world they implant in our minds that everyone’s gay or whatever …human race dies due to no hero sex ..

Which is how we are all made without heterosexuals you would not be born or alive .

There’s so much I could write about how mad the world is right now…

Just waiting for the seven horsemen because the world is at its tipping point it’s that bad.

As a teen in late 90s

JoBarkerLeave a comment

Due to my autism and the fact I got bullied no matter what school I was put in

I went to Ewing School Didsbury Manchester I was there 1996 -1999 I think.

The whole time I was at this school I saw a psychiatrist and felt upset.

1st story I’m telling you was one I recently told my friend ,School trip to Brittany France when I was age 13 or 14.It was more like a nightmare I shared a cabin in the ferry ⛴️ with two female teachers .

Before going to sleep I remember seeing the teachers ice cold eyes staring at me so I closed my eyes .

When we reached where we were staying it was an old rundown farmhouse in the middle of the countryside, with no street lights.

There were no carpets in one game room which teachers said only boys could use ….I think there was a living room but teachers said that was just for them…so we only had a garden and a table by a window.we also was not allowed in the kitchen.

We were not fed much . sandwich on french baguette and not much drink ..I ended up buying a large bag of crossettes and four large bottles of water to keep me going.

I remember the beach they took us to was a nudest beach ….think we were the only ones with clothes on ..

At my age it was shocking!!

At the end of the trip we were stuck at the ferry port due to French farmers protesting,so we had to sleep in a cold school gym on gym Matt’s and then catch the ferry the next day.

Later in my years at the school the headmistress Mrs Darbyshire really had it in for me ..

She had a go at me for small normal teenage things …and eventually she made sure the other teachers treated me badly too .

I was extremely depressed due to all of this ,my teens were destroyed by that school and it was that bad .

By the 1st year of college year 2000 still recovering from the school I ended up having anorexia for around a year.

And a further two break downs most recent was at age 23-24.

I feel I can write this blog about it now as I’am now 42 and it’s so far in the past that it cannot hurt me anymore ….I’m finally free of it…

Bible words help me to because I know I’ve suffered Alot but in a way it’s a post that if you suffer in your life you’re welcome to heaven because it’s almost like the suffering Jesus went through.

Glad I don’t have too many friends

JoBarkerLeave a comment

Reason why is because ,well starting with social media ,people using 😄 laughing emoji on comments and putting nasty horrible remarks.

It’s so immature and I don’t want to be friends with people who laugh at others like that ….they are not school kids they are full grown adults yet act like 10 year olds!!

I’ve not got time for nasty immature bullies  I don’t see the point of being nasty to strangers. Why do they do it I’m glad I don’t have many friends I’m happy with the one I’ve got and I trust him 100 %  of the nicest people I know.

I think most of my friends will be dogs I love dogs loyal faithful caring and judgmental I wish I could own a cavalier  king Charles spaniel again always happy  ,lovely dogs ,my favourite breed.

I can’t understand why adults want to be like 10 year olds bullying others and being nasty …..it’s so pointless. These days you get laughed at for options that people disagree with….rather than just disagreeing with you they would rather get nasty and bully you, I also get laughed for being against illegal drugs ,cannabis ,loud music …..but they laughed because they are clearly immature and don’t know right from wrong.

Socially for all humans social life has changed ,you see people with their heads in their phones out…and not paying attention to the world around them….before tech people would chat in streets over fence …basically everything with Alot more social in the olden days.

I use my phone certain times of the day ,for games ,shopping ect,or if TV is rubbish ,the rest of time is spent with my dog ,my art ,my dumbbells and miniverse….I have Alot of hobbies to keep me busy 😄reading….photography……and on and on.

If I ever meet new people who become friends and who I eventually trust it will be a bonus…it’s very hard to make friends these days….I only give my trust to people I’ve known for a long time and I feel 100 percent that they are loyal faithful trustworthy people🕊️♥️ it’s also saver that way.

Some men still treat women badly.

JoBarkerLeave a comment

I don’t usually write blogs like this because I’m not a feminist.

But on joining a Facebook group where women ask advice from men ,about relationships I noticed something.

I was asking advice on a matter ,and some of the comments were very immature and judgemental and disrespectful towards women.

Men in the group claim some of the women are bitter due to past experiences but it seems some of the men are bitter to judging by their comments.

Some treating women as if they should be submissive and do as they are told,which is one thing you do not do to me 😆,I was bullied over the years and had control freak teachers .

So it tuffened me up I’m a strong woman ,stronger than I realise and stand up for myself and speak my mind ….I’m like a mini Xena 🤣

I know at times our past heartaches rejections can make us bitter or angry ,but don’t go down that road it is negative and no good. The best thing to do is to clear your head and soul of negative emotions and carry on as best you can.

And if you want respect ,respect the other person and it swings both ways ,you cannot expect to be respected yourself if you do not show respect to others.

I think when these people make nasty , disrespectful comments it comes from their own insecurities and bad experiences so they protect it on others ,which in return causes more negativity….this does not help….over come the negative feelings and emotions clear your mind ,seek help seek help for god if your led that way ….it helps.

Nothing good comes from negative emotions and feelings ,as a catholic I have learnt that positive good feelings and emotions are better for you and people around you.

The UK needs more Catholic Priests!

JoBarkerLeave a comment

I’am doing this blog for all Catholic parishes who need priests.

There is a desperate need for parish priests in the UK , I have heard of struggling parishes that may have to shut churches.

This is bad we cannot let catholic churches close ,we need to keep the Catholic churches open to celebrate mass with Jesus and to keep the Catholic faith strong and on going.

I have been praying for parishes to get their priests and praying that they never close churches I hope they get priests and hope this blog gets the message across and helps them.

Holy Father Pope Leo I ask you to listen to the catholic people calling out to keep their churches open and get them priests , please help the parishes that need more priests ,if there are any that have to many priests or deacon please share them across the Catholic faith around the world.To parishes that need priests keep the churches open and the faith strong.

My prayers are with you 🙏🙏 amen

A Message to All Catholics

JoBarkerLeave a comment

I noticed in church ,some things not very catholic and need sorting ,rich boasting showing they have more than others,this is disrespectful and not catholic.

Catholic we are all meant to be equals  so I came up with rules I hope church would use.

When coming to church dress respectfully in the presence of the lord ,men black or brown shoes shirt tie and trousers ,women long dress or skirt ,blouse and blazer.

No logos no brands no tracksuits no trainers as this is disrespectful and showing off being rich and having more than others ,it is not acceptable.

Showing you more than others is so awful and wrong in the church ,the catholic faith is not about the rich and boastful ,it is about the humble the poor it is about equality unity.

I’m finishing where Pope Francis left off , focusing on the poor and if you have more then you need to give it to those who need it ,that is the right thing to do.

Wearing designer brand labels trainers and showing off riches at church is not good it’s an awful thing to do and very disrespectful in the eyes of the lord.

I’m not rich I’m poor but I’m happy I have the support of Mum & Dad  I can’t afford a house ,I can’t afford house bills ,most of my clothes are 2nd hand but I’m happy with that ,2nd hand is just as good as new .

So please fellow catholics be humble and respectful and follow these instructions ,do the right thing please🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼understand the wrongs and right them.

In the name of the Father The Son and the Holy spirit ✝️AMen

Sometimes I just want to live on a Island

JoBarkerLeave a comment

How the UK is now being destroyed by illegal immigrants and messing up our culture ,our religion and beliefs.

It is depressing and on social media seeing big companies  brands ect saying Eid Mubarak just hurts so much.

We are a Christian country and some stupid people stand up for Muslims/Islam clearly they’ve forgotten 9/11,…7/7…Lee Rigby ,3 Southport girls ,London bridge ,Spanish train bomb ,France ,Amsterdam all caused by Muslim terrorist…they are evil and not peaceful they kill Christians gays they kill none believers they treat women like dirt…..change your minds now!!!!

It’s getting so bad that sometimes I wish I could be away from it all on a peaceful island ,just far away from politics ,woke ,immigrants and the mess the UK is in ,it is very depressing….sadly I have suffered from depression most of my life .

So this does not help seeing the country go like this hurts me sickened me and brakes my heart I feel like screaming and crying sometimes ,just want it  be made better or for me to move away far away away from it all.

Loners who did not choose it

JoBarkerLeave a comment

Last night I had one of my deep thinking moments ,as sometimes happens before I go to sleep.I was thinking about loners .

There are two types I know of Negative and positive , negative ones usually  become worse than the ones who bullied them and sometimes become murders.

Positive ones don’t take it out on people ,they stay on the side of love no matter what,but none of us chose this path.I find myself thinking at night WHY??

I have tried socialising always ok as a child and early teens I was shy and it was more difficult,but as I got older I got more confidence ,spoke out more and braved it all,I even stood up to be bullies.

A couple of bullies I asked why don’t you like me.?

They answered. “because you’re a loser” “Because you don’t go on a break “( because they never say with me!!)

Some side” just because?”

It’s hard finding a social group at the moment but there seems to be lots of them in Thornton cleveleys If summers are noisy this year my parents and I may retire there.

I also know I’m not the only one I know there are others like me with the same issues ,thinking at night why?we try to be nice friendly and good manners so it’s not us it’s them.

I’m 41 now and still no solid group of friends I have one friend who texts I’ve known him for almost 10 years now.

I’m not shy anymore I’m confident and speak my mind but also look out for people and stay caring and thoughts.

Despite all the nasty bad people I will always follow my heart and be carrying and loving and always be me.

I will not let it turn me into a nasty evil bully that’s the weak way of dealing with it.

As for the WHy? I cannot answer that one yet still figuring it out ,maybe god’s saving us for something , honestly I don’t know. But if you’re a loner who has not chosen to be don’t turn to the dark side stay strong loving and caring ,love is stronger than hate.