Category: life struggles

What’s the difference / there is not one.

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I honestly had enough of Black lives matter protests ,if your white and have a option you try to express you get called racist.

So on this blog I want to show you something I have noticed.

Lee Rigby good man who served his country killed by two black man brutally , no protests going on for weeks on end.

George Floyed Criminal drugs and used gun on pregnant girlfriend,killed by police officer , protests go on and on and on causeing more racism makeing people angry and depressed.

Saying white lives matter is racist yet saying black lives matter is not ?? What’s the difference same thing!!

White person says Black person ect ect gets called racist.

Black person says black and it’s not racist??

Black person says white person not racist huh??

Black and Asians get societys and things just for them , white people do not ,

I say I’m not racist and I’m honestly not never have been ,In against violence and hate crimes , People cause hate crimes to me coz I’m autistic .I want equelaty and to be able to express my options without getting abuse of people.

Right now there is no equelaty ,it’s very depressing and with covid and blacklivesmatter bangging on all the time I’ve found my self feeling sad upset , I’m going to get my Bible out and read revaltions because it feels like the end of the world.

The truth is if your white you can’t say anything ,this blog here I try to express my point , but most likely evil nasty people and the youngsters will see it as a target to abuse me and call me nasty things, which is uncalled for! Btw Don’t try it I’m 36 and heard it all before ( yes I know I can’t spell I’m autistic and human which means I’m not perfect!)

What happend to freedom of speech ,there is none coz if you say anything which is your independent option , you get abuse , which is a childish way of dealing with things .

Pigs will fly befour I’m allowed to express my options and the UK will never be how it was .sadly it has been doomed since all illegal immigrants came in .

Freedom of Options

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I’ve noticed over the past few weeks that people are not entitled to exspress there own opinion on things.

With JK Rowling exspressing her option on transgender which she is entitled to.

Lawrence Fox exspressing his option on black lives matter , and nasty Megan murtel treating prince Harry like a yes man.

I want to say we have freedom and believe to exspressing our own opinions on things , We cannot have one single option or be told what to believe and think.

It is up to us what our options are and what we want to say .

You cannot force people to change there options ,we are free people with free minds.

I believe in only two sexes Male and female , I have nothing against transgender people it’s just what I believe.

It’s awful that Floyed was killed by a officer kneeling on his neck , you should not do that BUT he was a criminal he held a pregnant woman at gun point and sold drugs THAT I’am against. Not the colour of his skin as white people have done these things to .

I’am not racist but I do not like criminals and protests , I also don’t like people trying to take history. Away it’s already happend so it’s our past some bad yes but life is not perfect.

I believe all lives matter all means ALL it is not racist I’am a peaceful gentle person who does not use anger or hate and does not judge , we all have freedom to believe in what we want and to exspress our options , you cannot force people to have options they do not believe in!!

Covid 19 death tolls awful .

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Great Briton 22.123 death here now , it is so awful that so many people have died.

I think we should learn from other countries like New Zealand who haven’t had many deaths , they have fought off and protected there people really well.

I hope a vaccine/cure gets found soon becouse ,yes we all want normal life and freedom ….but right now lockdown keeps us safe from catching the virus and reduces it we need it to die out.

America can you please stop being so relaxed !!

You have the highest death toll almost 60 thousand people sadly lost there life’s.

Stay at home keep lockdown that’s how you stop it speeding and catching and get it to fizzle out.

Just stop being so relaxed , right now the whole world is in lockdown that includes you if you want people to live and the virus to die .

Stop being pig headed and lockdown .

YOUR NEVER ALONE WHEN YOU DIE .

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I want to comfort people who have lost family and friends to Covid 19.

Many people have died but come back , and have told us of what happens when you die.

Please do not worry , your loved ones were and are never alone (it’s up to you if you believe or not).

But spirits of relatives and Friends who may have died in the past ….or some cases pets watch over us.

When it is our time someone we knew in our life joins us and takes us to the next world .

When your soul leaves your physical body the pain is gone , becouse the pain was in your body not your spirit or soul.

My Mum’s best friend who sadly passed away of Cancer way before Covid 19 , became free of her pain and she got her hair back , I hear her voice sometimes,I hear spirits angels they guide and protect.

No one is ever completely alone ,you have spirits and angel as company who are there for you , once you die you are happy in the next life and your pain is gone, you can stay in heaven or come back to earth as a ghost and wait for your soulmate to join you and watch over your loved ones.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE , THEY ARE NOT ALONE , NOBODY IS ALONE.

The Sex toys just Don’t do it for me

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Being a virgin for most of my life sadly , And 36 still no boyfriend ….got a nearly boyfriend he just needs to admit his feelings to me.

Anyhow Through out my life to get a feel of the sex I’ve never had I’ve been reading erotic book , had fantasy’s.

In my late teens early twenties I was a rock chick and had very erotic fantasy’s of Rock stars.

Richie sambora and John bon Jovi sometimes together

Paul Stanley Kiss and other member of kiss threesome or just Paul.

Rick Parfitt Francis Rossi threesome or Just Rick.

Then Had fantasys of James May from Top Gear to ,Snape from Harry Potter. Jack Sparrow and Jareth The Goblin King…phew.

I orgasamed in the fantasy s they were hot.

But my dildos all big 7inch ones seem to do nothing for me ( I use this size due to my very tight meow!!!

Thrust them fast and not one orgasam , don’t feel turned on by them.

I guess I’m only turned on by real men , especially the man I’m in love with I wish I could have him I need that closeness , love and hot sex.

Coved19 week 6 First week of April.

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First this week Nan called to say Step Grandad was put into hospital .

Clocks went forward so I’ve been waking up at 10am not 9Am ,Still not used to the times as yet.

Friday Step Grandad died in Hospital from Cover 19 after only 3 days.

I was told today by my parents this morning.

2020 is turning out to be a very slow depressing year , that’s taking members of everyone’s family’s away.

It reminds me of a apocalypse so far more people are dieing each day and it has don’t disappeared as yet.

This means we can’t go back to normal life yet,the love of my life says he will hug me when and If we next meet , so I’ll look forward to being held in his strong arms.

Nothing much else has happened being stuck at home only so much can happen.

Coved19 Quratine week5 …I think

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It will be April in one day , So far I’ve been entraining myself with erotic novels.

Makes me want sex even more , but only with the man I love. Sadly I’ve never experienced sex or a relationship as yet and I’m almost 40.

Its so depressing I want a orgasam I want to be pleased and dirty and I want please a man .

Let’s not go to my none existent frustrating love life …and the chase of the man I’m in love with ugh.

Apart from that I’ve been doing my art , going in garden for fresh air and using my exercise bike.

There’s only so much you can do right now.

I’ve never experienced anything like this , the world completely shut down , how long will we stay sane who knows.

The clocks went forward Saturday …..but I got it wrong thought it was Sunday. So woke up late on Sunday and today still jetlagged.

Trying to get used to longer days and clocks forward , not there yet as it was nearly 10am when I woke up.

Erm think that’s it.

Coved19 week 4 March 2020

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Now UK is practically a ghost town EVERYTHING except supermarkets and pharmacys is shut.

On the way back from Hampshire on Sunday the motorways were like country roads empty or two or three cars.

The service station was empty.

Now I’am staying in and also in my garden for sunshine and fresh air.

Luckily I have loads of arty hobbies to keep me busy , plus books to read and a exercise bike so won’t get bored.

I’m taking the approach of people during the 1940s World War Two times.Just staying calm and taking one day at a time , it’s easy that way , becouse we do not know yet when this will be over.

Also found a app called Chapters which is basically erotic and romantic story’s which I’m hooked on right now.

It gives me that excitement in my life I’ve never really had. When your a woman of my age with lack of love life these novels help a little… dreams that you want in reality.

Intact I’m not going to go there I’m not far of 40 and the thought of lack of love life depresses me, the mid life crisis.

Just take one day at a time be distracted by hobbies carry on with a normal life at home and carry on ….Homes where the heart is and when your not there you miss it.

So enjoy your home becouse it’s your home.

Crappy Valentine’s Day

JoBarkerLeave a comment

I’am the most Unluckyist person in the whole world. First my love life in a nut shell,

Teens: Single , rejected

20s: Single ,Rejected

30s Still single , Still a virgin at 36 ….but with a difference , I finally met my Soulmate in 2015 .

I’ve known for years he likes me it’s so flipping obvious signs of why,

1. He blushes

2. He looks and smiles at me

3.looks away ( he is shy)

4.awkward silences

5.copies my moves

6.looks at me

7.struggles when talking to me

8.shows off acts funny

9.treats me different from the other women.

That’s some If I put them all we will be here forever.

He has been in love with me 4 years but won’t admit it, which is awful , becouse this is such a nice special feeling .

I appreciate it becouse No one has ever loved me befour it’s means alot, I cannot understand why he hides ( TRIES TO HIDE BUT FAILS AS I KNOW) his feelings and does not want me to know.

It’s very frustrating and confusing .He is a sensative ,careing warm guy brown eyes which have a sparkle to them , his eyes show he loves me and he is me soulmate.

Any How I’am currently 36 years old a virgin. Never been woed romanced , never had passion , only sex I’ve seen is on HBOs on TV and Internet ….and sex books.

It gets wrose as you get older February the 14th depresses you ,I would love and be so proud to call him my boyfriend I love him so much , day he finally says he loves me will be the happyest day of my life , but for now and for last 4 years of knowing him I have suffered.

So to all men if you are hidding your feelings and not telling a woman your in love with her.

TELL HER , TELL HER JUST TELL HER .If you don’t tell her it will just eat you up inside and won’t help your life or hers .

Being in love makes you feel young and happy embrace it , feelings emotions are great wonderful things life’s to short , if you are in love say it ….yes it’s a risk but it is a risk wroth taking just do it!!!!

Life Tuff decisions

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My parents keep talking about moving to Wales.

I do like Wales it’s peaceful , fresh and beautiful … complete opasit to Manchester…Also I love my parents very much and I’m close to them.

Also in 2015 I joined a art group and for first time in years I have friends and some sort of social life.

Which I haven’t had in many years. I fell in love with one Friend ,at first I didn’t …my grandad ghost guided me to him with flashing images and telling me he is his soulmate .

I tried to ignore it at first coz I’ve been single all my life and Unlucky in love. But I gave in , in the end , He makes me so happy , without him in my life I think I’d be really upset and down .

Happiest Ive been In Years is thank to art group friends and him, he makes me so happy, everytime I see him and Get a text from him I’m happy.

I don’t want to leave that, it’s so hard to make friends these days.

Without him I think I’d be really really sad , I’d also miss funny banter of art.

Ugh I don’t want to talk of Wales as a home to upsetting , to much to lose in Manchester 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔 , right now my soul wants me to stay in Manchester as that is where my soulmate is and happyniess is, think I’ll have to chain my self to house so I can stay here.😭