Rejection affects you all your life

I have been rejected and judged by people since I was a kid.

I remember sitting on a cold step in playing ground crying and alone ,not noticing the bell to come in and still sitting there in silence…..this is rejection.

I’ve been single forever ,I have never had a relationship never had sex never had companionship ….sadly missed out on these wonderful things ….not by choice,by other people’s choices

I’m now 40 and the rejection is not just of men but lack of friends to and social life is still with my hurting It affects you your whole life .Emotionally it does not completely go as it is still happening.

I noticed since my late to mid 20s I lost all hope ,I don’t get hopeful because I just expect the worst ,Because sadly that is what happens ,I have no hope left in me ,sadly because I know I’ll be rejected and worst is always going to happen to me.

Then I ask myself ,am I ugly? What is wrong with me? Why does a man not want me? Why do people not want to be friends?

I try to be a good person I treat people as I’d like to be be treated my self ,I have good manners ,show people I care ….yet here I am 40 years old unmarried no social life apart from at church and in text messages???

Why ? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t people love me like I love them? I feel cursed like I’ve done something really really evil to suffer this the whole of my life .

At age 28 I said to myself I condemn myself to my fate I will most likely die old and alone and have a poorpas grave …if I’m really lucky I’ll have a faithful dog by my side.

But that is where I see my future ,this is also why dogs are important to my life they love you they are there they bring you happiness when no one else will.

Things I’ve lost: HOPE ,LUCK ,HAPPYNESS

Things I have to give : Love , Loyalty,faith,compaction,friendship

I have a lot of love in my heart I try to tell family and anyone I care about I love them because I will regret it if I don’t and if something bad happens it’s important to tell people you love them as it brings happiness.

Not being told your loved or cared for you get tears rejection pain and cry on your pillow endless nights ….I’m 40 and still do that I’ve been doing that since I can remember.

I can only dream of what it’s like to be loved by a man and that is most likely all it ever will be …just a dream that will never happen….it’s painful knowing this future and not experiencing having love from someone ….it would probably make me the happiest woman on earth if it did happen..

But until then sadness will always dwell with me.

We can’t all have kids

As a catholic you would think I would agree with the pope on things.

Not everything he thinks we should all have children and not pet dogs,this does not work for me and other people.

For Example In the past I have suffered stress , depression,panic attacks and anxiety ,if I had kids I would not be able to cope I would end up in hospital with a huge break down so due to stress.

A DOG is much better for me ,I feel relaxed and loved by dogs and they matter alot to me ,they help with my Asperger’s and help me not feel alone and I can talk and be comforted by a dog life without one would be depressing.

Not all women can have kids ,they can’t afford mental health issues ,health issues ,life issues also some people would be bad abusive parents and just shouldn’t have kids.

So no we cannot all go round having kids there are personal issues and loads of other issues .

Sometimes having a pet is better for people and their health ,plus you have a choice it’s your life it’s your body it is up to you ,don’t have people tell you that you HAVE to.

Having children is a lot of effort and hard work and costly not everyone can cope with that ,I’m one that can’t ….I get anxious when kids are noisy and running around I get like this when shops are very crowded I’m.no good with crowds .

And I happily bless dogs and pets if given the right to .

What it feels like to still be single near 40

I am edging closer to 40 ,will be 40 in September ,I have official been single forever ,and not had sex ever!!

I have been rejected by all men ,even one who fell for me then rejected I have been rejected by my soulmate .

Inside it feels horrible ,leaves you thinking what’s wrong with you,? Why so much bad luck? What evil have I done to deserve so much rejection and pain? Am I ugly ?

I have done nothing wrong but be an honest caring loving person always been nice to people and given them love and made them feel good…in return they brake my heart leave me crying in bed this I’ve been doing now all my life…for once in my life I’d like happiness and love ,loyalty and friendship and passion ,never had that ever…why don’t you like me??

Single Women Don’t have to Have Kids!

Recently on Twitter there has been some uproar about people saying “Single Women HAVE to have kids”.It’s rubbish no one has to do anything they don’t want to do.

As a single woman who does not want kids Id like to explain my reasons for not having or wanting kids…then we will get on to the nasty people on Twitter!

I’m 39 I have Asburgers ,I have a history of depression ,stress and anxiety.y9u cannot have kids with these I know for a fact I’d brake down in to a huge depression and probably end up I’ll in hospital.Also I have been single since I was born in 1983 .I don’t have much money to my name ,I can’t afford a house or anything expensive so I won’t be able to afford kids.Also If I did end up with a man he would have to be single with no kids from past relationships…..I really do not want any of that at all,I’d rather have a partner who has no kids no baggage no physco exs.just a nice clean slate.These reasons should make perfect sense to anyone with a brain!!

Now to the trolls and bullies ,I noticed some nasty people put comments that are totally sexist and so old fashioned cob webs were floating on them.There is no need for nasty comments you cannot bully women or force them into being with child …that would be classed as rape you stupied idiots!

Some men were saying women were put on earth to give birth….well not all of us you historically old old people from 1800s ,we have personal choice and reasons for not wanting kids ,plus no money and illness that make us unable to be good mum’s,and there are some bad parents out there …..DO NOT TELL ME there isn’t becous6 there is ….you seem to forget about that when making your sexist old comments!!

No human is perfect and some people who have kids who are on drugs ,have metal health and other issues not all but some have no idea how to treat there kids ,also there are abusive parents….so don’t make out having kids is happy ever after for everyone ….becouse it’s not …..some people really cannot cope with the stress.

It’s your choice ladies if you don’t want kids don’t have them don’t let these losers force you into things you don’t want to do!