Artist Struggle: Hard year for an Artist

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This year I have really struggled with my work ,in past 5 months I have thrown away unfinished artworks because I get that gut feeling , that’s it’s not looking right.

I really hate chucking my work , last year was a good year I did not throw any works away.

There are things that make us artist insecure , for starters the media always post artist who do realistic photographic type art that they’ve done with pencils paint ect …we can’t all get that effect…and not everyone likes that sort of art.

Each artist has there own styles and technic unique .I admit I have felt insecure this year why do people have high expectations of us ,we cannot all do realistic art that looks like photographs,I only do what I can do.What Iam capable of.

It’s been such a struggle I want my art works to turn out well and sell well one ,I tried selling them on eBay but people these days want something for nothing , they expect to pay 1 pound 2 pound for art that take hours and expensive supplies ….I can’t live off that !!!

If any Artist have simpler artist block and struggles that are in my blog , feel free to comment it will help so much .

Help The Munkjak Deers of the A34 motorway

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My mum & I travel to Hampshire a few times a year because we have family down there .

When we reach the A34 we start seeing dead wildlife ….very sad Badgers ,foxes , pheasants ,rabbits …..and the smallest deer in the UK the Munkjak.

This time we saw just over 25 dead on the way there and back on A34 ,some were young deer done adults , but this is an awful terrible thing.The Munkjak are being killed on the motorway .

We think there should be some sort of fenceing on the A34 to stop animals crossing the motorway , British wildlife needs protection from dangers.

We would rather see them alive then dead , we just ask this simple thing to put a fence or wired fence up to stop Munkjak and other animals crossing the motorway ,too many are being killed on the A34 and it must stop , do not endanger the beautiful Munkjak deer to protect them.

Being Single forever effects you in older life

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I’am turning 39 this September then after that it’s the big four O , and alot of sadness that I’ve had all my life has got worse.

It Effects badly ,I have been single all my life Not by choice, I have not experienced a relationship love or romance or sex ,It effects me really badly… especially now as I see my 30s and 20s disappear into a historic fog.

I try not to think about it but it’s there and fills my eyes with tears, my whole life I’ve always wanted a relationship with Mr right and a good sex life .not experienceing it really depresses me , people don’t no how lucky they are to have had that , but people like me who haven’t just want to be a loyal faithful loving partner to love and enjoy life with.

There is someone who has feelings for me and had done for 6 years , but he won’t admit it ,this makes me feel worse …I mean why won’t he just say ,it’s so obvious, he gets nervous around me and shows all the signs ,yet he won’t admit he loves me.

It’s driving me crazy coz we could of spent our 30s together happy and now we can’t coz our 30s are going….I wish more then anything he would say it he would feel better and at ease for it and I will feel better to.

I wish I could have my late teens 30s and 30s with him , and not miss out on love romance sex and lust , I’am not looking forward to being a 40 year old virgin ,it’s so depressing,sad thing is I can’t get the years back ,no one has ever given me a chance ,I’ve been rejected throughout the years.

My sex drive is still high but there is sod all I can do about it ,my body wants a real man not some toy . Being single forever and reaching your later years is so awful and it effects you emotionally. It effects your life and thinking what you wanted but could never have no matter how hard you tried.Its very sad and awful …I often wonder if my lack of love life was cursed ,being single forever is awful and there’s nothing I can do because I’ve tried it’s sad when your unwanted and have no partner to share your life with it’s also very scary …I never wanted this .

I’am not mentally Ill

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I think some people still have yet to understand what having ADHD, Asburgers ,and Autism is.

A woman in a discussion I was having claimed it was a mental illness ….now I’m not easly offended, but this really shook me up.

I’am not I’ll with my Asburgers it does not make me sick ,I’am not metal I do not need a straight jacket or to be locked away. Some people still in this day and age do not understand that having “Special Needs ” is not a Illness it is part of who we are as a person

I’am deeply offended to be labeled as mentally ill because I was born unique ,my mum and dad are happy that I was born this way .

I have never broken the law , I’ve never taken drugs and never slept around or got in with the wrong people , I’ve always been good …..ok maybe not a little kid was still learning ….but I’ve not done anything that would class me “mentally Ill”.

Its not just me this would upset but hundreds of others like me , we are each unique with different capabilities as normal as any other human on earth ….but we are not I’ll and we are not suffering !!!!

I’m artistic I spend my time creating art , doing exercises , I’am religious and spiritual and have a caring heart and alot of compassion and emotions,my parents are proud of me and are happy with me just as I’am.

Please If someone says they have any of the above ,do not judge them do not talk down to them , do not treat them as if they are slow and do not say they are mentally Ill, as it is offensive and upsetting.

If Humans were more like Dogs

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Being a dog lover I’ve been thinking about this ,Dogs are loyal and give love to anyone despite if they are evil , disabled,good ,rich or poor.

For Example Hitler the most evil person ever one of them….he had dogs ,they loved him…I know weird. But for a animal that does not judge and love you know matter what ,that’s the good bit.

Us humans on the other hand always judge ,we have hate jealousy and all those horrible things ,they all cause negatives in people’s lives.

If we were a bit more like Dogs with love to give and not to judge each other the world might be a better place , all dogs want from life is love food and playing with…..humans want money and more all the time .

We can learn some lessons from our dogs.

Options matter

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Apparently according to “Women” on Facebook I’m not aloud a option on not liking Botox.

I’ve been against Botox since a teenager, I think it does not look nice and makes people look worse not better.

I believe in being natural and being happy with who you are as your born…that my opinion. We All have different opinions on things that’s how life is, if we all had the same option life would be pretty boring.

These days thought if people don’t like your opinion or views they decide to be nasty and troll and bully you,then say your nasty for having the option it’s self…..how does that even make sense.

Anyhow I blocked all the comments and did not reply as these people are not worth it.sadly in modern UK you are not allowed a option coz if people don’t agree with you or even disagree with you, they get nasty and troll and bully coz you don’t have the same option as them. Im not changing how I think and feel for a butch of

bully’s I’m sticking to what I believe in . If we all have the same option and agree on everything the world would be a very boring place….think about it

Rick’s Spirit visits me

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I have a history of Spirits ,When I was a young girl while in my bed I saw ghost of my Nan after she died.

As a teenager I always felt someone was in my bedroom with me ,It was Grandad watching over me I think becouse I was going through hard time.

In Grandad s flat in Hampshire me and Marion ( mum’s best friend ,felt every thing go freezing cold ,this was Mary nans. Sister.

When Marion passed away she sent messages for my mum to me to pass to her.

And other things I get only good spirits which is a relief. But since my favorite Rock star passed I’ve had him visit me , we have a connection ,I used to give him gifts .

Most recently it has been my birthday ,last night he turned up in my dream ,he wished me a happy birthday and gave me a kiss and a hug . It was lovley ,I told Rick I had met Francis recently, He was wearing one of his white look54 tshirts was just so nice ,after this dream I woke up warm and red-faced but. Very happy.

Spirits of passed loved ones and ancestors do visit us in dreams it’s one of the mericals of the unexplained afterlife and spiritual world ,it is also a positive becouse you know that your loved one is happy.

I know some of you who read this will be none believers and just wash it off as some fantasy dream. I can tell you it is not as I don’t have many fantasy dreams ,they eather don’t make any sense or are dream with meaning ,or something of the future of visit from spirits.

Like a dream I had couple of months back it’s only a minor one this but made sense , I saw inside a church and a humming bird , next day mum mentioned a humming bird and the church was on Endeavour episode. It really can be a minor as that or full blown like future places I’ve seen on vists in North Wales and the changes to Sale town center .

Sale Town center was a reccuring dream which has now stopped becouse the changes I saw , the dreams were over a couple of years ,they have stopped becouse Sale town is now charging like it showed in the dream. I have a very open mind and believe in spirit ghosts predictions aliens the lot becouse the unexplained is in our world with us and in us.

The day I met Francis Rossi 2/09/21

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Anyone who knows me ,knows my favorite band of all time is Status Quo .

As a child during 80s and 90s Ricky and Francis were always on tv ,loved there funny interviews,and music.

In 2010 I met Rick Parfitt he was crossing the road in Manchester , everything was a bit of a flash I was so overwhelmed and starstruck.got the photo on my wall of us.

2021 I finally got to meet Francis Rossi , I honestly was a bag of nerves and had adrenaline flowing , but he to me “it’s alright my lovley”

I gave him the gift of a art work of himself in the 80s , he signed one of my art works for me he said he remember the event and kept the jacket.

He also said that I’m beautiful , lovley and delicious ,the biggest complement a man has ever given me , so I’m extremely flattered by it.

At the end I said I
“It was a pleasure to meet you ,your in my favorite rock band thankyou”…..and I think I was bowing to him …don’t know why natural reaction to lead singer of fav rock band I guess haha!!!

So at the end of this I had to have a stiff drink which for a lady like me is a southern comfort and lemonade. That charmed my nerves .

So glad I finally got to meet the great Francis Rossi in person one of best quo days of my life ,it’s up there with meeting Rick and being front of Rick at the stage .