Category: love

Coved19 Quratine week5 …I think

JoBarkerLeave a comment

It will be April in one day , So far I’ve been entraining myself with erotic novels.

Makes me want sex even more , but only with the man I love. Sadly I’ve never experienced sex or a relationship as yet and I’m almost 40.

Its so depressing I want a orgasam I want to be pleased and dirty and I want please a man .

Let’s not go to my none existent frustrating love life …and the chase of the man I’m in love with ugh.

Apart from that I’ve been doing my art , going in garden for fresh air and using my exercise bike.

There’s only so much you can do right now.

I’ve never experienced anything like this , the world completely shut down , how long will we stay sane who knows.

The clocks went forward Saturday …..but I got it wrong thought it was Sunday. So woke up late on Sunday and today still jetlagged.

Trying to get used to longer days and clocks forward , not there yet as it was nearly 10am when I woke up.

Erm think that’s it.

Crappy Valentine’s Day

JoBarkerLeave a comment

I’am the most Unluckyist person in the whole world. First my love life in a nut shell,

Teens: Single , rejected

20s: Single ,Rejected

30s Still single , Still a virgin at 36 ….but with a difference , I finally met my Soulmate in 2015 .

I’ve known for years he likes me it’s so flipping obvious signs of why,

1. He blushes

2. He looks and smiles at me

3.looks away ( he is shy)

4.awkward silences

5.copies my moves

6.looks at me

7.struggles when talking to me

8.shows off acts funny

9.treats me different from the other women.

That’s some If I put them all we will be here forever.

He has been in love with me 4 years but won’t admit it, which is awful , becouse this is such a nice special feeling .

I appreciate it becouse No one has ever loved me befour it’s means alot, I cannot understand why he hides ( TRIES TO HIDE BUT FAILS AS I KNOW) his feelings and does not want me to know.

It’s very frustrating and confusing .He is a sensative ,careing warm guy brown eyes which have a sparkle to them , his eyes show he loves me and he is me soulmate.

Any How I’am currently 36 years old a virgin. Never been woed romanced , never had passion , only sex I’ve seen is on HBOs on TV and Internet ….and sex books.

It gets wrose as you get older February the 14th depresses you ,I would love and be so proud to call him my boyfriend I love him so much , day he finally says he loves me will be the happyest day of my life , but for now and for last 4 years of knowing him I have suffered.

So to all men if you are hidding your feelings and not telling a woman your in love with her.

TELL HER , TELL HER JUST TELL HER .If you don’t tell her it will just eat you up inside and won’t help your life or hers .

Being in love makes you feel young and happy embrace it , feelings emotions are great wonderful things life’s to short , if you are in love say it ….yes it’s a risk but it is a risk wroth taking just do it!!!!

Life Tuff decisions

JoBarkerLeave a comment

My parents keep talking about moving to Wales.

I do like Wales it’s peaceful , fresh and beautiful … complete opasit to Manchester…Also I love my parents very much and I’m close to them.

Also in 2015 I joined a art group and for first time in years I have friends and some sort of social life.

Which I haven’t had in many years. I fell in love with one Friend ,at first I didn’t …my grandad ghost guided me to him with flashing images and telling me he is his soulmate .

I tried to ignore it at first coz I’ve been single all my life and Unlucky in love. But I gave in , in the end , He makes me so happy , without him in my life I think I’d be really upset and down .

Happiest Ive been In Years is thank to art group friends and him, he makes me so happy, everytime I see him and Get a text from him I’m happy.

I don’t want to leave that, it’s so hard to make friends these days.

Without him I think I’d be really really sad , I’d also miss funny banter of art.

Ugh I don’t want to talk of Wales as a home to upsetting , to much to lose in Manchester 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔 , right now my soul wants me to stay in Manchester as that is where my soulmate is and happyniess is, think I’ll have to chain my self to house so I can stay here.😭

Spiritual , religious and life after physical world

JoBarkerLeave a comment

I have been spiritual most of my life , first experience seeing my nan wave goodbye of staircase as a little girl ( that young was scared).

Teen experiences when I was depressed and stressed , I always felt like someone was in the room with me.

This was my guardian angel my beloved Grandad Barker , he protected me from myself , I was very depressed he kept me alive.

Over many years also have physic dreams , these see many things from places I may see in future ( which become dajavu ).Others are of people of events.

Also more recently since passing of mums best friend ( also spiritual), she gave message to me ( mental medium ) through my mind) saying goodbye and she was ok.

Soulmate part well I met him 2015 but again Grandad Barker helped me on this one he showed me flashing images and kept going on at me ” he is your soulmate,”.

I didn’t want to believe it coz I’ve been rejected by men all my life , 2016 while in Wales I just gave in , hopelessly I. Love …not with him yet …But my soul feel complete and I …can’t really explain the rest , it’s complex and spiritual .

I have a special connection with him, I see so much in his eyes ,We both get similar emotions together , our humour is similar .I love him so much I just hope we get together soon befour we get to old😭.

I believe in ghosts angel’s spirits, inside our physical body is our soul/spirit ,it is there and when your physical body dies this soul/spirit goes to another world of souls or stays as a ghost here to pass on messages , haunts ect.

All the above is connected .

Love no law agaist

JoBarkerLeave a comment

Social worker friend who Iam in love with, He cares for people serverly disabled and he also has ADHD. I have Asburgers and know my own mind ect, his support worker friend said I cannot have a relashionship with him becouse he is a care worker ( NOT FOR ME AS I DO NOT NEED A CARE WORKER) she said its against the law for me and him to be a couple if ever we wanted to be? Is this true??

Also he is 100% my soulmate as I have a special bond and chesmisty with him, Since I met him the empty missing piece of my soul has filled/healed.

What she said hounestly angered and upset me , I have beeb mulling over it all week , also going through law with fine tooth comb, asking officals in Mancap, court, and head goverment minster of social workers.

I’m not easly angered as I’m a calm careing person .

I know I dont trust her , to be hounest my family and I dont trust care social workers (except my friend Chris).

Love has not got a law and if she does keep me and him apart, you will see Romeo juliet story in the news where I die coz im jept away from most importent man in my life .

The letter would say I love chris you tried to keep us apart ( ) my blood is on your hands!

Anyway so dar its not going romeo juliet way( thank god) Like I said I’ve been researchibg this with a fine tooth comb .

Its only illiagal if he is my care worker and I’m his client.

Which Iam not! Iam his friend , I’d gladly go to court or prison for loving him Im so angery and upset by what she said , even though I know she is wrong.

I need to relax and clear my mind as I do nit like anger ( as Yoda is right).

Tears For The Fallen

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Tears for the fallen , they fought for our country ,

Put their lives on the line , they died for us in shells raining and drowned in mud .

Tears for the fallen brave were they as they faced a battle in difficult times.

Tears for the fallen poppys grow when men still lie , forever asleep time passses them by.

In the end war still goes on , our country is over run , not by a army , by people taking advantage.

In the end they lost their lives for a country taken from under us, these brave men died for us , the government gave us away , In the end all was lost Soliders cry as they see the living try to be British and strong.

In the end we lost all ,